"Moving Van" and "Otto Parts" - Part Two of Two

In the spring of 2007 I got reacquainted with Van and have been meeting regularly for lunch and/or coffee and talking occasionally on the phone. He is now married and has four kids.

Van was going on a back packing trip with his oldest son and wanted to get in some hiking before the trip. He called me and said he was interested in hiking part way up Mt Si and would I like to join him, the plan was to go to the 2.5 or 3.0 mile marker. The total Mt Si hike is four miles with a 3,100 foot elevation gain. I invited my 6, 7, 8 and 9 year nephews and niece to join us.

When we started up the hill the goal was to only go part way, but the competitive spirit got the best of us. Our goal soon became to make it to the top. Van took the lead and I was the sweeper.

Trying to keep the children between us was a chore. One kid at a time would fall back and start whining. By the time we got to the top three of the four had taken their turn complaining. After three hours we made it to the top. When they got to the top they all forgot all their troubles and had tons of energy.

On the way down I made the mistake of not telling them that we all have to stay within sight of each other. One of the boys decided he was going to be the first one to the car and took off, the rest of us couldn't keep up with him.

I finally had the oldest boy carry my pack and I took off after the run away. I was worried for his safety and keeping my uncle responsibility. I soon learned that I am not as fast or agile as I used to be. My goal was to catch him and tell him a few things and maybe a spanking. Hikers coming up were yelling at him to stop and then yelling at me for letting him get away.

I didn't have to worry about spanking him for the ground did the work for me. He ran around a couple and fell. When I arrived the couple had stayed near him. We washed off the dirt and put bandages on the knee wounds. He then stayed very close to the rest of us.

At the end of the hike, at the trail head we took the pictures below, (sorry for the picture quality, they were taken on my cell phone). The "run away nephews" didn't want to get into the picture. When he later walked by the same sign I snapped his picture.

Van, two nephews, myself, and niece.

Copy of another Blogger's Post - Sex

Today I read a blog post by "Llama Momma" at
http://llamamomma.blogspot.com/

I decided it needed to be seen by others.

"Monday, September 8, 2008
the one where I talk about sex
Cameras were everywhere on that first day of school. Parents hovered like the paparazzi, snapping photos and waving. And when the kids went in, the crowd dissolved into a mixture of tears and happy dances. (I was one of the Moms doing a happy dance, by the way.)

As we walked home, I chatted with neighbor, who had taken the day off work to commemorate the day. Her husband is a stay-at-home Dad.“What will you do with your day?” I asked. Both of her kids were in school all day for the first time.“Oh, I don’t know,” she said.

“You can go to lunch! You can take a nap! You can have loud sex during the day!” I joked.“Now why would we want to do that?” She asked, as if I had suggested pulling her toenails out one at a time.

To keep romance alive. Because your husband looks good to a lot of bored housewives on this playground. Because you can. I think all of these things as we part ways.In our sex-saturated culture, it seems that married sex is an oxymoron.

Chrysalis is hosting a conversation today on Marriage and Romance.

After eleven years of marriage, I’ve got a few things to say about romance and how it evolves and changes over the years, especially when children come along. But I’ll keep my advice short and sweet: one way to keep romance alive in your marriage is to have more sex.(This is the part of my blog where I try to forget that my dad reads it. And my grandpa.)

But really. Next time your husband winks at you across the dinner table, don’t roll your eyes. Wink back. Marriage is not meant to be a miserable endeavor. Flirt. Have fun. Have sex. And see if the romance meter in your home rises."

"Moving Van" and "Otto Parts" - Part One of Two

In 1989, oh so long ago, I went on a road trip with a friend Van. I knew him from a Church singles group, he is now married and has four kids. Our first Stop was Crater Lake, Oregon.

Then Reno .

Then around Lake Tahoe.

We saw the Ghost town of Bodie, CA.

On the Fourth of July we ended up in the little town of Lee Vining (population 488). This town is sandwiched between Mono Lake and the east entrance to Yosemite National Park (see map above). This town has only two roads, Highway 395 and a parallel, two block long, residential street.

On the fifth of July we would be going through Yosemite and then on to my relatives in San Jose, while Van visited a friend of ours that worked at Mt Hermon Christian Conference Center near Santa Cruz, CA.

The whole reason I am telling you this travel log is this holiday afternoon we had time to kill. We decided to throw a Frisbee to each other on this small towns residential street.

We were throwing it back and forth to each other, neither of us knew how to do fancy throws or catches. and having an OK time. It was kind of hard for I thought, "everyone else back home is celebrating this holiday with picnics while we were filling our time throwing a Frisbee in a rural town in east central California.

Four small local boys, aged 5, 4, 3 & 2, were watching what were doing and somehow what we were doing appeared to be more interesting than what they were doing. Finally the five year old, Jose, asked if we would throw it to them.

None of them had ever thrown a Frisbee before and we began attempting to teach them. We would say "Jose throw it to Roberto", or "Julian throw it to Juan", etc.

They had a lot of trouble with this new toy, their past ball throwing motions made this disc throwing action difficult. Actually the two year old, Juan, was the best thrower.

We threw the Frisbee around with them for a about a half hour when Jose asked us what our names were. I responded, "This is Van and my name is Otto". They started laughing so hard that they couldn't remain standing. They rolled around in the street laughing so hard that they couldn't control their tears. They decided to call us Moving Van and Otto Parts.

We finally got back to throwing the Frisbee and they had the greatest time saying, "Roberto, throw it to Moving Van", "Otto Parts throw it to Julian", "Moving Van throw it to Juan" or "Jose throw it to Otto Parts". They would all laugh every time they tossed the Frisbee.

Our hands were getting worn out from this throwing motion, our fingers were red, puffy and sore. We didn't care for it was so amazing for us to interact with these kids that couldn't stop laughing and giggling. Both Van and I had smiles on our faces as we threw the Frisbee around.

All good things must come to an end and finally their parents came out and told them they were going to be going into the big city of Bridgeport to watch the fireworks that evening. As they drove off they yelled out the windows, "Good bye Moving Van and Otto Parts".

We were disappointed that the boys had to leave, it was no longer fun just throwing between the two of us. We soon ended our game.

We had a wonderful trip but what we most remember was the Frisbee tosses with the four kids in Lee Vining that called us "Moving Van" and "Otto Parts".

Mailbox Peak - Labor Day Hike

A hiking group that I am involved in had a hike planned for labor day to climb Mailbox Peak, about forty five miles east of my home. The posting for the hike said this:

'Says Ira Spring about the hike to Mailbox Peak: "The trail is rough and varies from steep to very steep to awful steep.'

Here is a good article that describes this hike: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/outdoors/2008016454_nwwmailboxpeak260.html
Here are the hike details:
Distance: 6.0 miles round trip
Elevation Gain: 4000 feet
Hiking Time: 5 hours
Difficulty: Most difficult"

In addition the Washington Trail Association had this to say about this hike:
"Mailbox Peak is not typically the sort of hike that is chosen for the casual hiker's easy outing. The summit, which has an actual mailbox at the top, is reached by a rugged trail that climbs three miles and gains over 4,000 feet, sometimes at a grade as steep as 40 percent.The steep, rugged character of the trail makes it one of the most difficult hikes in the I-90 corridor. Mountain climbers, local hikers and even firefighters have lugged heavy packs up and down for conditioning for decades."

I (Otto) was tentative in attempting this hike. On Sunday I talked with someone who had done it before and my competitive drive kicked in, "If Suzi can do it, I can do it".

Not knowing for sure if I was going to go, I did not drink a lot of water the night before or the morning of.

As I drove to the carpool location I thought "what am I doing". Fortunately the first 1/4 mile is pretty gradual. As I walked this initial part, it gave me that feeling you have when you are going up a roller coaster, with the unknown ahead.

Then the true climbing began, I was the slowest of the crew. The others would kindly take multiple breaks to let me catch up. I soon started quoting the Lord's Prayer to keep myself going. Each step was a huge effort.

I brought along adequate water but consumed it quicker than expected and had to borrow from others, (thanks Rick and Bob). After nine previous hikes this summer I felt I should be able to make this, with only minor difficulty, boy was I wrong.

We finally made it to the top.

Rick took picture



(Bob, Liz, Vic, Eric, Linda, Jonathan, Sara, Mark, Suzi, Nancy and Rick) Otto took picture

It took us two and a half hours to get to the top, and then stayed a half hour for lunch.

I am thinking maybe an hour to get down. To come down I was advised to tighten my boots so my heel was held to the back of my sboot and my toes wouldn't ram into the front. I bent down to tie the left boot, having no problem. In attempting to tie the right boot I slowly fell over. I felt like the Arte Johnson Laugh-In tricycle skit.

On the way down, stepping down rocks and then tree roots was very cumbersome. I learned that "Roots Are Not My friend", the second you touch one your boots become like skate boards. It took us two hours to descend.

Once at the bottom my legs felt like rubber, and they were very sore. That evening my legs became almost useless.

The next day it was hard to keep my balance, my thighs were painful and walking down a hill or stairs sent pain alarms to my brain. Three days later I am finally able to walk without a lot of discomfort.

It will be a while before I do this hike again.

Dear Abby and Ann Landers

In my August 13th post I mentioned Dear Abby and Ann landers:
“I used to collect interesting advice columnists answers to questions sent in (Dear Abby and Ann Landers etc). As their daughters took over their gigs and as time has passed I have found that I rarely read them for the questions and answers are too liberal for my liking.”

Coincidently last night I read an article in the September 2008 Focus on the Family magazine in the “thoughts from Dr. Dobson” section. The title was:

“Dear Abby, What are you teaching our children?
Many of you probably grew up reading the “Dear Abby” column, which appeared in newspapers since 1956. It was originally written by Pauline Esther Friedman Phillips, under the pen name Abigail Van Buren. Phillips retired in 2002, but the column continued under the tutelage of her daughter, Jeanne Phillips.

I’m sorry to report that while “Dear Abby” remains the undisputed champion of advice columns, in recent years, both prior an subsequent retirement, its reputation as a source of solid, homespun, traditional wisdom has been seriously tarnished. In 2007 the Culture and Media Institute conducted a study revealing an ongoing trend toward advice that is steeped in postmodernism and incompatible with biblical teaching. For example, 30 percent of Abby’s columns in 2007 dealt with sex, and 53 percent of those columns offered distinctly nontraditional views on sexual morality.

Specifically,”Dear Abby” does not encourage unmarried adults to abstain from sex, and she rarely finds adultery to be wrong. Abby also fails to tell to tell sexually active teens to cease their promiscuous behavior, and she finds homosexuality to be perfectly acceptable. In 2007 alone, the column also demonstrated a permissive attitude toward a wide range of questionable sexual behavior, including stripping, nudism, and cross-dressing.

The Culture and Media Institute summarized its study of “Dear Abby’s” 2007 columns this way: “as many as 20 million of Abby’s readers are under the age of 18. Millions of young men and women are forming their views on sex and relationships under the influence of a libertine advice and columnist who is advancing anything but traditional values.” For the full contents of the study, see culturalandmedia.com.

Abby reportedly receives more than 10,000 letters and e-mails every week. Her responses run in 1,400 newspapers worldwide every day, reaching 110 million readers daily---nearly three times the combined daily audience of ABC’s, CBS’s and NBC’s news programming. It is regrettable that a column that continues to be revered by millions of readers has, over the years, increasingly embraced the lies of moral relativism. Now, more than ever, those of us who espouse biblical principles must be discerning in the cultural voices to which we listen.”

I had also noticed the same moral slide in the “Ann Landers” column over the years. The original author, Esther “Eppie” Pauline Friedman Lederer (The identical twin sister of Pauline Phillips) morally slid faster and further than her sister’s column. When Eppie Lederer died in 2003 the Ann Landers name retired. Her daughter Margo Howard soon started writing under the pen name of “Miss Prudence” in syndication and in “Slate” on the internet.

The same comments by Dobson about Dear Abby could be applied to Miss Prudence’s advice as well. For many years one of my local papers, The Seattle Post Intelligencer, carried her column. I remember one day thinking, "I can’t read this anymore". Shortly thereafter the paper cancelled her syndication. Frequently, a provocative titled article from “Miss Prudence” shows up on my internet home page, and I ignore it. The few times I have looked at it confirms how damaging her advice is.

Scarlet Letter - Infidelity - Part Four of Four

Even as a single guy I have found the book "His Needs, Her Needs" to be a great read. I have read it multiple times. His basic premise is that if you don't meet your spouses needs they will get their needs met elsewhere.

An on-line Christian bookseller summarized the book:

"It's no surprise - men and women have radically different priorities. Describing the ten most important needs of men and women, Dr. Harley teaches you how to "affair-proof" your marriage. Learn how to sustain romance, increase intimacy, and deepen your awareness year after year."

Her needs:
1. Affection
2. Conversation
3. Honesty and openness
4. Financial Support
5. Family Commitment

His Needs:
1. Sexual Fulfillment
2. Recreational Companionship
3. An Attractive Spouse
4. Domestic Support
5. Admiration

If you don't meet your spouses needs and you spouse strays, his advice for surviving the affair:
Step 1: Ask yourself "do you want to survive the storm?"
Step 2: Don't put up with it another minute.
Step 3: Know what to expect
Step 4: Start meeting each others needs

In the last chapter he says:
"The Cure for incompatibility: Getting Down to the Full-Time Business of Meeting Each other's Most Important Emotional Needs.

The quickest cure for incompatibility and fastest road to becoming irresistible lie in meeting each other;s most important emotional needs. Happily married couples are already aware of this principle and have learned how to make marriages a full-time priority. But these couples not only put out the effort, they also put out their effort in the right places.

I have seen this principle work in many different situations. For example, I once managed a dating service in the Twin Cities area. A dating service is designed to help people with common interests and objectives meet each other. Soon after I opened the service I began to see a very real problem. Those who had enrolled---some five hundred---needed more than an opportunity to meet each other. Almost without exception these people lacked skills in meeting the needs of others. Yet each of them eagerly sought someone else who would be highly skilled in meeting their needs and could care for them. They complained that they only met selfish and insensitive people. Of course they could not see their own selfishness and insensitivity.

So I reorganized the dating service. Rather than than help my subscribers meet eligible people, I helped them become eligible people to meet, developing skills and other qualities that that would make them attractive to the opposite sex.

A number of the dating-service bought in to my new concept and took the pains necessary to become skillful in meeting the needs of other people. For these men and women, my dating service was a roaring success. In fact, they found they no longer needed a dating service to introduce themselves to anyone. Their newly acquired abilities made them attractive to the opposite sex wherever they went. Many of them married within two years.

I believe that our societies failure to train people in meeting the needs the needs of others---especially the needs of the married partner---has caused much of our high divorce rate. Marriage is not a simple social institution that everyone eventually enters into because he or she "falls in love and lives happily ever after". As long as we fail to to see marriage as a complex relationship that requires special training and abilities to meet the needs of the opposite sex, we will continue to see a discouraging and devastating divorce rate.

Children should be trained at a very young age to to learn how to meet the needs and expectations that will be laid on them if and when they enter marriage. There is no reason we must see so many marriages that barely hold together or drift into affairs."

His comments about singles is so true. I see so many others that are looking for someone to meet their needs and not trying to meet the needs of others; I am also guilty of this.

Scarlet Letter - Infidelity - Part Three of Four

Scarlet letter-letters to Ann Landers

I used to collect interesting advice columnists answers to questions sent in (Dear Abby and Ann Landers etc). As their daughters took over their gigs and as time has passed I have found that I rarely read them for the questions and answers are too liberal for my liking.

But here are two from my archives:

Dear Ann: “His Wife in Maryland” had a solution to the problem of infidelity – a common one – blame the Other Woman. This scenario is played out frequently on daytime talk shows. The wronged wife tears her hair and screams at the Other Woman. The husband sits there like the moron that he is and says absolutely nothing while they fight over him.

I find this extremely troublesome. These cheated-on wives should stop blaming the Other Woman. They are not the problem. She is the symptom of a troubled marriage. If a husband is having an affair the wife should look at herself and her husband and find out what went wrong with their marriage. The best way to do this is by talking with a marriage counselor. – Voice of Experience

Dear Voice: I hear you loud and clear. I hope others will, too. You make a lot of sense.
July 7, 1997 Ann Landers

Dear Ann: You have printed many letters about extra marital affairs; here are some things your readers should be aware of:

*About half the men and about a third of the women who are cheating say they are perfectly content and there is nothing wrong with their marriage.

*Being religious does not prevent infidelity.

*Women are as willing as men to have an affair

*Fewer than 10 percent of those having an affair will divorce their spouses to marry their lovers. A large percentage of those who do often have another divorce.

*People who have affairs are more likely to be divorced, distressed and disappointed.

*The chemistry that drives an affair lasts anywhere from a few weeks to three years before it cools down.

Infidelity can happen to anyone. Here are a few tips for your readers to affair proof their marriage. I call it them “the four P’s” for prevention:

*Be protective of your marriage. Avoid risky situations such as long lunches with a co-worker or drinks for two after work. Most people don’t plan on being unfaithful.

*Be positive. Look for what is right in your spouse, and tell him or her daily. People who have love affairs are often looking for appreciation and affirmation.

*Be polite. Always talk with your spouse with respect. Be careful what you say to each other and how you say it. Show courtesy and caring in the way you treat each other.

*Be playful, and make fun, sex and humor a mainstay of your marriage. Schedule times to play with one another, and have a “date night“ at least once a week.

Marriages can and do survive affairs, and many become stronger having weathered the crisis but not without pain and a genuine desire to recommit. – L.S. Ph.D., Seattle

Dear Seattle: thanks for a good letter. Your suggestions for “affair proofing” marriages were especially useful. I am glad you wrote.
October 4, 1997 Ann Landers